Santa : Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Bunta : I give up.
Santa : Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music
Jasmeet : "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."
Judge : "But why ?"
Jasmeet : "Because he is not faithful to me."
Judge : "How do you know ?"
Jasmeet : "My lord, not a single child resembles him."
From his death bed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die
I want you to marry Banta."
Jasmeet : "Bunta ! But he is your enemy !"
Santa : "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."
Bunta : I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto
that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found
Preeto in another man's arms.
Santa : kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, "Maybe, she didn't
get the fax."
Santa :"When we were first married, I would come home from the office,
Jasmeet would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run
around barking.
Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings
the slippers and my wife runs around barking."
Bunta : "Why complain?, You're still getting the same service!"
Preeto : "My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at
me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever
said anything bad about him?"
Jasmeet drew Santa's attention to the couple next door and said,
"Do you see that couple? How devoted they are?
He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
Santa : "I would love to, "But I don't know her well enough...
may be you could introduce us..!
Santa : "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children
and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
Bunta : "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
Santa : "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and
none of them dares to answer back.
Jasmeet : My husband always comes home late, no matter how I try.
Preeto : "Take my advice, and do what I did.
Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning,
and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jaspal?"
And that cured him.
Jasmeet : "Cured him !... But how?"
Preeto : "You know, his name is Banta."
Santa : "You looked troubled, what's your problem?"
Bunta : "I'm going to be a father."
Santa : "But that's wonderful,"
Bunta : "What's wonderful? My wife Preeto doesn't know about it yet.
Jasmeet : If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to come in your mind?
Santa : That you are a lesbian.
Bunta : "Do you talk to your wife after sex?"
Santa : "Depends, If I Can find a Phone"
Santa to Jasmeet on their wedding night- "
Santa : "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ?"
Jasmeet : "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!"
It was mealtime on Punjab Airline .
Air Hostess : "Would you like dinner?"
Bunta : "What are my choices?"
Air Hostess : "Yes or no,"
Jasmeet : You always carry my photo in your wallet to the office. Why?
Santa : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Jasmeet : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Santa : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
Santa : "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
Jasmeet : "Honey, I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Jasmeet : "What do you like most in me: my pretty face or my body?"
Santa : looking at her from head to toe and replied:
"I like your sense of Humor.
Santa went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the operator twice.
Guess why ?
because there it was written "Number Dial Karne Se Pehele Do Lagae"
Santa was driving with girlfriend Preeto to Chandigarh.
He puts his hand on her lap.
She smiles and says, "You can go further dear..".
So, Santa drives to SHIMLA
Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Life Paradox what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage) , what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend ), what is permanent is boring (wife)
Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't u use a mouth wash?"
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression & many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them!!
U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I jus luv ur feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U NESCAFE!
Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives!
Court Order !! U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox & Hijacking My Smile with your cute massages. U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE
What is the similarity between CIRCUS and a BEAUTIFUL GIRL'S HEART? Both have space for 1 more clown...
What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive, Terrific, Cute, Fabulous.... I Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired..... I put down the mirror !
Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It brings fears... So, live life in the present And drink chilled beers!
True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets ready no other place is open!
A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U SISTER"
There r many things in ur life which will catch ur eye but only few will catch ur heart pursue those
"U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id"
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There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...
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Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other
kidney.
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What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and
Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
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Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife
Be-Gum ho jaat hai.
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The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it
can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
------------ ---
Agar zindagi main kuch kar dikhana hai to kuch aisa karo ki jis shaher, jis
gali, jis mod se gujro wahan ke har ghar se awaaz aaye,
Papa aa gaye, Papa aa gaye!
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